Learning to love my postpartum body

Before becoming pregnant, I had never really been one to obsess over my weight. On New Year's Day 2017, I found out I was pregnant. At this time I was already a little on the chubbier side (weighing 145) but when your happy and in love that's usually what happens. Being pregnant is an amazing thing for your taste buds if your not nauseous or vomiting everything you eat. I had none of these symptoms and everything I ate just tasted so much better to me than it used to. To say I had a sweet tooth would be downplaying it, I lived for dessert. I thought about eating sweets all the time even planning what dessert I would order before even thinking about a meal. By the time I gave birth I put on about 30 pounds, weighing in at 175.

Thinking about what your going to look like after birth will occasionally cross your mind. You see all these skinny Instagram models that don't even look like they've had a baby 2 hours ago. However, for most of us this will not be the case. I remember still laying on the bed after I delivered, afraid to touch my own stomach. My mom had just said something to me about my belly now going down but as I put my hand on my own skin to see what she meant I was still apprehensive. To think I had just birthed a tiny human with a not so easy delivery and I was concerned about my stomach. It goes to show how hard we are on ourselves, not realizing the gift of our bodies to be able to grow a person down to their fingernails. If there is one way to describe how my belly felt when I touched it I would say it was like a deflated balloon. The skin was stretched and loose, having just lost it's occupant for the last nine months. I refrained from touching it again or even looking at it bare in the mirror until the next day. When I showered the following day, there I stood in front of the mirror surprised and disappointed. I still had a 6 month pregnant belly that would be so hard to hide.

I walked out of the bathroom and jokingly said to David, "Well now at least I only look 6 months pregnant". He just looked at me and told me not to worry about that right now and that I looked great. I'm pretty sure if he had said otherwise it would have earned him a jap in the face but his answer appeased me for the time being. I really didn't dwell to much on the matter after that just avoided looking at myself in the mirror until I got home.

I decided on the week I got home to take some pictures of myself, belly exposed. I would recommend this to other expectant moms because when you see how much your body can change it puts a lot into perspective. Initially, the weight just kind of sheds off. Between losing all the water weight, crazy sleep schedule, breastfeeding and for me lack of appetite, I saw a big change in my weight in the first 2 weeks. When your a new mom finding the time to eat is even harder than making time to use the bathroom and shower. I started drinking Herbalife through my amazing sister, Sonia, because I needed some fast meals that weren't gross and could literally be made in the 5 minutes I had to inhale a meal. By using these products, I continued to lose weight. I still to this morning, drink a shake all the while I am breastfeeding thanks to my NutriBullet to go lids that I can close and open in case Miles starts acting up or he needs a boob switch.

At this point, I am 3 months postpartum and have lost the 30 pounds I gained during my pregnancy. To say my body is back to what it used to be would be a lie. To say I'm completely satisfied with how I look now would also be a lie. What I can say is that I'm happy with my progress and proud of my body that it held such a big and healthy baby boy. Many women often worry about the effects pregnancy will have on their body even before they become pregnant. We should be embracing the miracle, grateful for the opportunity that some do not have. Vanity can be consuming so enjoy the experience and learn to accept your stretch marks because they signify a small time in your life that you felt the little kicks of your baby. It's a time you don't get back.

These pictures were incredibly hard to share even with my family and friends. My sister shared these pictures for me on social media because I couldn't find it in me to do so but I figured if they would help someone then why not.

These pictures are to show how my body transitioned over time, especially in the first month.

The first picture was 5 days postpartum and the second would be almost 2 months postpartum.

Also, don't believe everything you see on social media because there is photoshop and great picture angles. Some women may truly "snap back" to their pre-pregnancy bodies which is great. As for the rest of us, it took 9 months to grow so don't punish your body because it didn't shrink back in 5 seconds. Remember your baby looks at you and sees the greatest love of their tiny existence, rolls and all.


PS: For anyone that is interested in Herbalife or just want so more information, pregnant or not. Please reach out to my sister and Herbalife coach, Sonia Gomez. 📩DoinItHLstyle@gmail.com or check out her IG- soso_what